The other day i was coming back from workand i was in a taxi when a man sitting close to me started talking and was saying that everybody should be careful this december period. He continued by saying that the latest news in town was that some group of miscreants were going around staealing other peoples koboko. Imagine that.... your are walking down the road, you stop to greet a person and immidiately after shaking hands or some form of body contact, wam, your koboko is gone.
The guy continued his story by telling us about a taxi driver that had his koboko stolen TWICE in a day. Twice.... that guy must have some Snoop Dog like koboko. The driver received money from one of his passengers and immidiately noticed a shrinking of junior. He then rushed and back and met the passenger he dropped and after some beatings the man allegedly returned junior back to the driver. That same day, this same driver's junior was stolen again. The matter was taken to the police station and it was said that a female police officer handled the junior and immidiately the koboko sprung to attention...
The story had me laughing all the way back home and i just decided i must share story.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Right Choice.....
So i was thinking the other and i wondered how do i make the right choice when it comes to choosing the woman i am going to marry. This was such a difficult question and it was really weighing me down. How do i know that she is THE ONE. Am saying this because i have had relationships where everything was so rosy and nice at the beginning. We called each other almost everyday, and just could not stay away from each other's company. And then 3 to 4 months later, we cant even stand each other.
How do i know that this girl is the one that i want to spend my LIFE (wow) with. I was with a friend and after complaining to me once about his girlfriend, he said ''thank God say i nor marry am, na so we for divorce after 2 months''. We both laughed but deep down it left me speechless. How did our parents do it? My wonderful parents have been married for 28 years and they are still going strong everyday. How did they do it?
Nowadays, the most important thing i ask of the Almighty God everyday is to meet a good life partner. Its needs to be stressed cos with the kind of girls i meet these days, its really going to be hard. Sometimes i say to myself '' Do i need to go to the village to get a wife'' cos we were told that all the good girls are in the villages and havent been corrupted by the way of life in town. What a big lie. You get to the villages and u see a girl coming back from the stream or in the firm pressing her BB phone and when u say Hi the reply you get it how much you get.
Am not going to say much about the youths of today cos that has been extensively covered by others but all am going to say is we all should be a little concerned.
How do i know that this girl is the one that i want to spend my LIFE (wow) with. I was with a friend and after complaining to me once about his girlfriend, he said ''thank God say i nor marry am, na so we for divorce after 2 months''. We both laughed but deep down it left me speechless. How did our parents do it? My wonderful parents have been married for 28 years and they are still going strong everyday. How did they do it?
Nowadays, the most important thing i ask of the Almighty God everyday is to meet a good life partner. Its needs to be stressed cos with the kind of girls i meet these days, its really going to be hard. Sometimes i say to myself '' Do i need to go to the village to get a wife'' cos we were told that all the good girls are in the villages and havent been corrupted by the way of life in town. What a big lie. You get to the villages and u see a girl coming back from the stream or in the firm pressing her BB phone and when u say Hi the reply you get it how much you get.
Am not going to say much about the youths of today cos that has been extensively covered by others but all am going to say is we all should be a little concerned.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Cruel Hands of Death
''hey wussup''
''am fine, how u dey''
These were the words that started the conversation between me and a friend of mine some two weeks ago. This was somebody that was close to me and one i could call a good friend. Only for mr to hear today that she died in a motor accident while travelling from Benin to Port Harcourt. Tragic! Sometimes i wonder why good people actually have to die? why? She was so young. Barely in her early 20s and her life was taken from her just like that. Whose plan was that? Why is fate so fucking cruel? We are told to give thanks in all things. Please tell me how can one possibly give thanks in such a horrible situation?
What a sad sad situation.... Rest in Peace dear friend.
''am fine, how u dey''
These were the words that started the conversation between me and a friend of mine some two weeks ago. This was somebody that was close to me and one i could call a good friend. Only for mr to hear today that she died in a motor accident while travelling from Benin to Port Harcourt. Tragic! Sometimes i wonder why good people actually have to die? why? She was so young. Barely in her early 20s and her life was taken from her just like that. Whose plan was that? Why is fate so fucking cruel? We are told to give thanks in all things. Please tell me how can one possibly give thanks in such a horrible situation?
What a sad sad situation.... Rest in Peace dear friend.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Why chicks dey form too much?
Okay..so today am gon be talking about ''forming''. Well ''forming'' here really has to do with ''forming'' in a relationship. U know how u chicks go dey behave like say dem nor dey shit when u jam that fine babe and all that shit. Yes, that what am gon be writing about today.
Well, i am a guy and most guys i know about, when they meet that pretty, fine, sexy chick (dem plenty for Benin), after all the scooping and washing, we really have no idea what happens next. fine, we are told just make the chick laugh and you have done 90 percent of the job or if you get money use money kill the girl life. But the question i wan ask be say ''why chicks like to dey form for guys''. I hate all kinds of forming. Why does a girl have to ''form'' too much for me. Its either you like me or you dont. Dont gimme dat ''let see how the thing goes, maybe i will get to like him''. Ehn and u dey chop my money go. Ogun kill you. I met this chick the other day and in a few minutes, we were already talking sex. Imagine..... i told her i liked her, she replied she liked me and boy..shit was much easier to deal with.
Fine... a girl has to form first so that we guys will think they are not cheap. whoever said that shit must have been so fucking high, he couldnt see clearly. What dis chicks dont know is that, the longer you for, the quicker you get dumped. You think am lying? how long did you form for your last boyfriend before he dumped you? what about the guy u gave the kpomo quickly? what happened?
A word is enough for the wise....
Well, i am a guy and most guys i know about, when they meet that pretty, fine, sexy chick (dem plenty for Benin), after all the scooping and washing, we really have no idea what happens next. fine, we are told just make the chick laugh and you have done 90 percent of the job or if you get money use money kill the girl life. But the question i wan ask be say ''why chicks like to dey form for guys''. I hate all kinds of forming. Why does a girl have to ''form'' too much for me. Its either you like me or you dont. Dont gimme dat ''let see how the thing goes, maybe i will get to like him''. Ehn and u dey chop my money go. Ogun kill you. I met this chick the other day and in a few minutes, we were already talking sex. Imagine..... i told her i liked her, she replied she liked me and boy..shit was much easier to deal with.
Fine... a girl has to form first so that we guys will think they are not cheap. whoever said that shit must have been so fucking high, he couldnt see clearly. What dis chicks dont know is that, the longer you for, the quicker you get dumped. You think am lying? how long did you form for your last boyfriend before he dumped you? what about the guy u gave the kpomo quickly? what happened?
A word is enough for the wise....
Friday, October 15, 2010
The Naija Police...
Yes..like i always say before i start writng, i aint dissing anybody..am just expressing my feeling thru ma writing... so pls no hard feeling.
Okay..since that has been taken care of i really need to talk about this subject cos its sumtin i come across everyday. I was watching the television the other and i was so impressed by the way members of the police force were all about getting the bad guys and bringing dose responsible for crime to justice. It was so nice that i almost cried. (by the way i was watching 24 on the television...lol). Even at that i have always been impressed with the way these people, the police, always try to do the right thing even when there is absolutely no need.
Well, coming down to our great country Nigeria, you can say that things are the exact opposite. How else can you explain the gross incompetence shown by this guys day in day out. Was coming home from work one day and i was with ma laptop when i was stopped by this guys just some minutes before ma crib. so they asked me where i was coming from and all the usual questions. They then asked me what was in ma bag. I told them it was ma laptop and they asked to see the receipt. So i brought out the receipt which ma brother sent with the laptop down to Nigeria cos the laptop was bought abroad and then sent down to Nigeria. These guys refused and said they want to see the Nigerian receipt. m\ke una see me see wahala. person go buy lappy for jand tell oyinbo make e gimme naija receipt. To cut a very very long story short, i just had to ''settle'' because they were ready to delay me dere for almost the whole day.
Shit is so bad that a madman was asked if he wanted to join the Nigerian Ploice Force and he answered ''I dey Craze''. So yal can imagine what we go thru. Na only God finally dey protect person....
Okay..since that has been taken care of i really need to talk about this subject cos its sumtin i come across everyday. I was watching the television the other and i was so impressed by the way members of the police force were all about getting the bad guys and bringing dose responsible for crime to justice. It was so nice that i almost cried. (by the way i was watching 24 on the television...lol). Even at that i have always been impressed with the way these people, the police, always try to do the right thing even when there is absolutely no need.
Well, coming down to our great country Nigeria, you can say that things are the exact opposite. How else can you explain the gross incompetence shown by this guys day in day out. Was coming home from work one day and i was with ma laptop when i was stopped by this guys just some minutes before ma crib. so they asked me where i was coming from and all the usual questions. They then asked me what was in ma bag. I told them it was ma laptop and they asked to see the receipt. So i brought out the receipt which ma brother sent with the laptop down to Nigeria cos the laptop was bought abroad and then sent down to Nigeria. These guys refused and said they want to see the Nigerian receipt. m\ke una see me see wahala. person go buy lappy for jand tell oyinbo make e gimme naija receipt. To cut a very very long story short, i just had to ''settle'' because they were ready to delay me dere for almost the whole day.
Shit is so bad that a madman was asked if he wanted to join the Nigerian Ploice Force and he answered ''I dey Craze''. So yal can imagine what we go thru. Na only God finally dey protect person....
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Love or Lust?
Okay....here I was one bright, sunny day and I wondering about the concept of Love and Lust. What exactly is Love and what is Lust. Can they be inter-changed? This concept is very confusing especially among the youths. So I decided to check the dictionary meaning of both words and this is what I got. Love: - feel desire for somebody: to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody OR have sex with somebody: to have sexual intercourse with somebody. Here also is the dictionary definition of Lust: - the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated feelings of love or affection OR desire sexually: to feel a strong desire to have sex with somebody.
Wow...after checking up the meaning of these words, i became more confused. How do I explain the fact that Lust means the strong physical desire to have SEX with someone, usually associated with FEELINGS OF LUST, OR THE FACT THAT Love is the SEXUAL desire and longing for somebody. Is it me or do both of these words not have an association with SEX? Yes... they definitely do. So I don’t see what all the fuss is about when I hear people, especially female folks, saying that they Love their boyfriends or male companions and they expect them (the guys) to use the same words (love) when replying them. Why can’t I see a beautiful girl on the street and walk up to her and say ‘’ I lust after you’’. Why do I have to tell her that I love her when both words definitely have the end product which we all know to be sex?
Why are females so stuck up on the word love that they want to hear it continuously for the rest of their lives? For me I think that’s just a very easy way for guys to have a piece of that ass. I walk up to a chick and after some scooping; I tell her what she is itching to hear. Well u all know what comes next. Left to me, I don’t see why these chicks make me tell lies all the time. I lust after you but am just telling you I love you so things would be easier for me. I thinks if chicks just let go of this notion of wanting to always here ‘’I love you’’ all the time, things would be much better.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Bini Girls (in fact all girls) and Money...
Okay..first and foremost like you all know this is not a diss site. its just an avenue for me to state things how i see them. Now that i have gotten that off ma chest, its time to move on (cos i dey fear those boys there wey dem eyes dey red).
Growing up, i always dreamt of meeting a very beautiful girl and we hit it off and have such a romantic relationship which would finally end up in marriage and everything would be so so perfect. Well like i said, that shit was only a dream. Back to reality and here i am, a Bini boy by location and am telling you, here we have some of the finest girls on planet earth. Hey i aint bragging just because Benin is the only place i have been to (if u like laugh).The truth is the girls here are the bomb. Boy come and see the backside, perfectly rounded. abi na the front. ripe and pointed and then the LIPS.... very very kissable.
But the problem with this girls, well every other girl in Naija sha, is that these girls are fucking money conscious. You walk up to any of these girls just to say hi and my broda if you nor dress well ehn, nothing for you. Maybe u manage dress well and the girl manage say hi to you, boy the next place na fast food joint before the chick go even listen to wetin you wan talk. After that, men guy na more fast food joints and other flexing spots so that you nor go fall your hands and legs. Its so fucking bad now that boys go dey their papa house tell chick say dem dey lagos just to avoid the babes. I've gat this friend that anytime he has a new girlfriend, men na so so travel the guy dey travel.... Na lie sha the guy go dey house dey tell babe say e travel.
So whenever me and my guys are on the road and we see a very fine girl, we access the chick and see if na the type wey go tear us bill or if na the type wey fit handle... as in chop and clean mouth immidiately.
Well, as a sharp guy wey Bini boys be, we nor go carry last. So the latest plan is this. If u see a fine girl on the road and u go like chew the kpomo (gusu), make sure you run all the levels in one sitting. No carry over to the next day because guy u go loss. So run all the levels and then MAKE SURE u chew the yam that day. Yes i said it.... guys be a hit and run man.. afterall na dem make us be like that.
Please ladies... u guys are too beautiful for guys to see people as chop-and-clean-mouth material (although e make sense sha). Give guys a chance before you tear us bill wey our papa nor fit pay...
Growing up, i always dreamt of meeting a very beautiful girl and we hit it off and have such a romantic relationship which would finally end up in marriage and everything would be so so perfect. Well like i said, that shit was only a dream. Back to reality and here i am, a Bini boy by location and am telling you, here we have some of the finest girls on planet earth. Hey i aint bragging just because Benin is the only place i have been to (if u like laugh).The truth is the girls here are the bomb. Boy come and see the backside, perfectly rounded. abi na the front. ripe and pointed and then the LIPS.... very very kissable.
But the problem with this girls, well every other girl in Naija sha, is that these girls are fucking money conscious. You walk up to any of these girls just to say hi and my broda if you nor dress well ehn, nothing for you. Maybe u manage dress well and the girl manage say hi to you, boy the next place na fast food joint before the chick go even listen to wetin you wan talk. After that, men guy na more fast food joints and other flexing spots so that you nor go fall your hands and legs. Its so fucking bad now that boys go dey their papa house tell chick say dem dey lagos just to avoid the babes. I've gat this friend that anytime he has a new girlfriend, men na so so travel the guy dey travel.... Na lie sha the guy go dey house dey tell babe say e travel.
So whenever me and my guys are on the road and we see a very fine girl, we access the chick and see if na the type wey go tear us bill or if na the type wey fit handle... as in chop and clean mouth immidiately.
Well, as a sharp guy wey Bini boys be, we nor go carry last. So the latest plan is this. If u see a fine girl on the road and u go like chew the kpomo (gusu), make sure you run all the levels in one sitting. No carry over to the next day because guy u go loss. So run all the levels and then MAKE SURE u chew the yam that day. Yes i said it.... guys be a hit and run man.. afterall na dem make us be like that.
Please ladies... u guys are too beautiful for guys to see people as chop-and-clean-mouth material (although e make sense sha). Give guys a chance before you tear us bill wey our papa nor fit pay...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Independence Day Celebration...
Okay.. October 1st it is and that's the day my country got her Independence. The day we were supposed to have been freed from the clutches of our colonial masters. The day when Nigerians were supposed to have come of age and be able to lead themselves.. able to stand up and say this is what we want to do, how we want to do it and why we are doing it without seeking from advice from any external persons (am talking to you white men).
Yes..am not here to start saying how the leaders fucked up, how from that time to now there has been absolutely no positive change, how youths are now all about kidnapping and shit and basically how the life of the average Nigerian youth is so fucked up that we cant even straight anymore( but na the truth ooo). Am here to comment on things from my own perspective and generally from the perspective of all Nigerian youths out there.
Firstly.. we are fifty years old and all we dey hear na how government dey beg foreign companies for money to do advertisments. can u imagine? almost 300 million for advertisements. to advertise the fact that Nigeria is 50 years old. sshit... if u ask me, na person pocket all that money dey go.. what do we need advertisements for. what d fuck is wrong wit dis our leaders sef.. all we ask for is share d money wit us and we will not be complaining... instead na advert dem dey try place...
Well.. d day came and with all the noise about Independence Day celebration, i actually thought that something extraordinary was gonna happen. and was i right.. was watching tv wit ma dad when we heard dat their was a bomb blast at the Eagles Square in Abuja. wtf is wrong with these dudes.. they are bringing some terrorism shit into our own Naija. can u imagine being in ur house and scared to go to the crowded market make dem nor go bomb the place.. its so fucking bad.
Finally.. am just going to say this and am screaming it at the top of my lungs....AM SO SO PROUD TO BE A NIGERIAN AND I WONT TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. besides where can i go to in this world and have police officers (yeah right i said it) jumping at my every word just cos i have some extra money, or where u have old men calling u bros just because they are very sure they would get something from you. I LOVE MY COUNTRY....
Hey.. am not dissing anybody.. just pouring out ma mind in the only way i know how.. so abeg abeg bros... yes am talking to you.. abeg nor vex.. lol
Yes..am not here to start saying how the leaders fucked up, how from that time to now there has been absolutely no positive change, how youths are now all about kidnapping and shit and basically how the life of the average Nigerian youth is so fucked up that we cant even straight anymore( but na the truth ooo). Am here to comment on things from my own perspective and generally from the perspective of all Nigerian youths out there.
Firstly.. we are fifty years old and all we dey hear na how government dey beg foreign companies for money to do advertisments. can u imagine? almost 300 million for advertisements. to advertise the fact that Nigeria is 50 years old. sshit... if u ask me, na person pocket all that money dey go.. what do we need advertisements for. what d fuck is wrong wit dis our leaders sef.. all we ask for is share d money wit us and we will not be complaining... instead na advert dem dey try place...
Well.. d day came and with all the noise about Independence Day celebration, i actually thought that something extraordinary was gonna happen. and was i right.. was watching tv wit ma dad when we heard dat their was a bomb blast at the Eagles Square in Abuja. wtf is wrong with these dudes.. they are bringing some terrorism shit into our own Naija. can u imagine being in ur house and scared to go to the crowded market make dem nor go bomb the place.. its so fucking bad.
Finally.. am just going to say this and am screaming it at the top of my lungs....AM SO SO PROUD TO BE A NIGERIAN AND I WONT TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. besides where can i go to in this world and have police officers (yeah right i said it) jumping at my every word just cos i have some extra money, or where u have old men calling u bros just because they are very sure they would get something from you. I LOVE MY COUNTRY....
Hey.. am not dissing anybody.. just pouring out ma mind in the only way i know how.. so abeg abeg bros... yes am talking to you.. abeg nor vex.. lol
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